September 2, 2010

Things a 13-Year-Old Boy Says

My brother-in-law, Chris, his wife, Michelle, and my nephews, Steven and Matthew, are staying with us for a couple of weeks.  My nephews, Steven and Matthew, are ages 17 and 13 respectively.  Steven is a man of few words, but Matthew tends to make up for him in spades.  I thought it might be fun to keep a log of the strange and interesting things that come out of Matthew's mouth.  So here is life according to Matthew...


Me:  Matthew, did you really eat my bag of Skittles?
Matthew:  Yes, but I only ate them to help eliminate your source of temptation.

Matthew's Mom:  Are you riding home with Aaron and Sarah?  (after our trip to the zoo)
Matthew:  Yes, they're cool.  Except when they blast their music and I can't listen in on their conversations.

Matthew:  (To me when I was worrying that the shorts I wanted to wear wouldn't be dry in time for us to leave)  Well, I have a pair you could borrow.  They are camo and they're too big on me, so they'll fit you. 
(Thanks, Matthew.  I was feeling too skinny that day and needed you to give me a reality check).

Matthew:  (looking at a public notice for how to help someone who is choking)   That doesn't look like it would be very helpful.  It looks like the guy is trying to kill him.
Aaron:  What are you talking about?
Matthew:  Well, if someone is choking why would you grab them by the neck and throw them to the ground?
Aaron:  The hand on the guy's neck is his own hand (which is the signal for choking) and the picture of the guy on the ground is showing what to do if the person choking passes out and is on the ground.
Matthew:  Oh, that makes sense.  I've always wondered about that. 

Stay tuned for more Matthew-isms...

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